Monster Mommy

I seriously should look into getting some sort of anger management therapy. Went ballistic with the children today and made them scamper around me like terrified bunnies. Poor babies.

I wasn't just yelling at the children, I was roaring at them. I flung their scattered toys and clothes and screamed at them to pick it up. Big girl later asked me, " you're going to be sick again after this, right mommy?" Asked her "what do you mean?" She then said I usually go all monster mom with them a week or two before I get sick. Then I understood. I am absolutely amazed at how perceptive my big girl has become. She is absolutely right. It is almost that time of the month before Aunt Flo's debut. A week before Aunt Flo, I'd get bad cramps, lethargy, nausea and headaches. A week prior to that, it's attack of the mood swings and this is that week.

The trigger for the mood swings are often the same, a messy house and bickering children. I keep telling them, clean up after yourself and Mommy won't yell. I don't remember how it was when I was a child, but my children all suffer from temporary amnesia or something. Maybe it's inherited...from their dad obviously. He still suffers from it till today but his temporary amnesia has evolved to convenience amnesia. Very exasperating.

Anyway, usually the day Monster Mom emerges, kids will immediately transform into super efficient cleaners. By the time house is tidy and everything spic and span, I would usually have cooled off and everything becomes lovely between us again.

I hate myself when I go nuts on them like that. But I am practically single handedly running our home and taking care of the kids. Hubs tries to help as much as he can but he is always away for work. I love my hubs, I love my kids and I love my family. But if I knew then what I know now, I might not have gotten married. Big girl got it right when she once declared that she will never, ever get married. Her reason was, first you have to worry about finding a guy, then worry if the guy would want to marry you, then worry about being pregnant, then worry about childbirth ( she thinks all babies are delivered via C-sect btw, thank goodness she hasn't asked me about the birds and the bees yet), then worry about taking care of the babies. Big girl's exact words "I think it is just not worth the trouble, mommy." Told ya she's extremely perceptive. LOL.

A few days back, hubs was saying that after he turned 40, it seems like time just passes so fast. I nearly choked when I heard that. Only after he turned 40 he started feeling that. He turned 40 like only 2 years ago. WTF???!!! I quickly replied,"after you impregnated me some 9 years ago, half of my 20s and early 30s completely disappeared! So please spare me from your melancholy." He gave me a sheepish smile and quickly shut up. Smart man.

The kids are all asleep now. Looking at their innocent faces right now, I feel absolutely wretched that I was acting like such a jerk today. Mommy is sorry babies. I love you very much despite those times I go mad woman on you. Forgive me for being human.